But One to the Wind (Gen, G)

[pixel_0]

Title: But One to the Wind

Rating: G

Category: Gen episode tag

Word Count: 442

Characters: Dean and Sam

Spoilers: “What Is And What Should Never Be”

Summary: Sam asks him every question but one.

Author’s Notes: Thanks to equinox_bluefor the fast beta. Any remaining mistakes are mine alone. Crossposted around.

Disclaimer: The following characters and situations are used without permission of the creators, owners, and further affiliates of the television show, Supernatural, to whom they rightly belong. I claim only what is mine, and I make no money off what is theirs.

 

- - - - -

 

Sam asks him about it. What Mom said when she saw him. If Jessica loved her engagement ring. How Carmen looked when she smiled.

 

Sam asks about Dad as the miles spin past them in a car that was once their father’s who died making a deal with a devil and not of stroke so quiet and peaceful in his bed. Dean tells Sam what it felt like to be able to stand at a grave of granite and not at a pyre of smoke. He wishes now that he had a place to mourn.

 

Sam asks about Mom when they stop to eat at a restaurant with food greasy and hot that tastes nothing like a sandwich she made with her own two hands. Dean tells him how she looked with her hair pulled back and dressed up pretty and how she had let him take care of her as she had cared for him as a child. If he closes his eyes, he can still feel her hand, soft, against his cheek.

 

Sam asks about Jessica when they go to sleep for the night in beds without the women they could have had by their sides. Dean tells him that Jessica liked to tell jokes at dinner just to see Sam choke on his drink and she loved Sam so much that she glowed with it. When he looks over to Sam, Dean sees his brother smiling through the tears in his eyes.

 

Sam asks him questions that never end, and Dean answers every one with patience and precision. The questions help him to remember. They hurt with the could have beens and should have beens, but he doesn’t want to forget. He doesn’t want to forget the perfectly placed photos in the living room and the sight of Sam’s college books peeking from his suitcase. He wants to always remember the feel of Carmen wrapping her arms around him in their bed and what it meant to be able to greet the morning drinking coffee with his mother.

 

Sam asks him every question but one. He never asks why. He never asks Dean why he chose to give it all up because Sam already knows the answer.

But.

 

But, if Sam were to ask Dean what made him come back to a life of pain and fear, where darkness lives in their rooms and death sits in their backseat, Dean would look at him and say, “You. You’re my brother and everything that’s real to me, and I’ll always come back.”

 

And Sam would smile and Dean would laugh and every question Sam had would be answered at last.

 

 

End

Comments

[tigriswolf]

Oh.

Now I'm kinda tearing up.

Wow.

Do you know about snmissingscenes?

[cologne-chick.livejournal.com]

*sobs*

Thank you, thanks for answering the unanswered question. This is exactly what I thought why Dean came back!

[iamzulma.livejournal.com]

i love the stream of consciousness feel of this. ♥

[apieceofcake.livejournal.com]

Lovely, thank you :-)

[erinrua.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Just right. :-)

~ Erin

[(Anonymous)]

Aww.And it's completely right that Dean came back that way.I can't wait for next week's episode.My favorites were Crying!Dean at John's grave and the whole conversation where AU!Sammy gets all defensive about Dean using the whole jerk/b*tch thing.I seriously can't wait until next episode.

[albeitslowly.livejournal.com]

This was just perfect and lovely darlin'. Of course, that's the one question Sam wouldn't ask, because everything real with these boys is unspoken. Thanks.

Tracy

[iamstealthyone.livejournal.com]

Nicely done, a good ep tag. I like that Dean give Sam the answers to all of his questions, that he’s willing to talk even though he isn’t normally so forthcoming with information of this kind of emotional nature.

Favorite lines:

Sam asks about Mom when they stop to eat at a restaurant with food greasy and hot that tastes nothing like a sandwich she made with her own two hands.

Never thought a sandwich could make me sad, but you just turned that sandwich into something so bittersweet. Oh, Dean

Dean tells him that Jessica liked to tell jokes at dinner just to see Sam choke on his drink and she loved Sam so much that she glowed with it. When he looks over to Sam, Dean sees his brother smiling through the tears in his eyes.

Oh, Sam.

[staceey.livejournal.com]

This was a perfect coda.

[holdeverysong.livejournal.com]

Oh. Wow.

That was incredible.

*tearing up now*

[willoweese.livejournal.com]

Very well done.

[lady-macbeth-13.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. I haven't seen the episode yet (downloading it now), and every fic I read makes me want to watch it even more.

Awesome fic. So sad but so pretty.

[legoline.livejournal.com]

I need to go back to bowing before you.

*bows*

[laurondo.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's.... perfect. Fits it SO WELL.

[gumnut.livejournal.com]

If I chose to live out this life, Sammy is lost. There is no choice.

You could see it in his eyes as he held the knife.

Thanks so much for bringing into focus and writing it.

Nutty
(who just saw the ep and is buzzing around inside her head)

[mellaithwen]

*sniff* I think I need to see the episode again...or...something.

aww lovely little fic hun, quite poignant and sad with the little memories Dean has

he wishes now he had a place to mourn

ow :(

[equinox-blue.livejournal.com]

*is happy for you* Beautiful tag. But I knew that already. ;)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

*offers tissue* Thank you. :)

Hm. I had vaguely heard about it in passing, but never really checked it out. I'm a bit surprised, too, considering how many "missing scenes" I write. I'll have to give it another look when I get a chance.

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I couldn't help but feel that the show didn't do a complete job of explaining exactly why Dean came back, so I'm glad you liked my take on it. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) (Although I can thank being up way too late while writing this. *wink*) ♥

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, but really, thank you for reading. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Next week's episode looks like it's going to be a killer, but I can't wait either. :) Thank you for the feedback!

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Of course, that's the one question Sam wouldn't ask, because everything real with these boys is unspoken.

Exactly. I think that sums up everything right there with them. :) Thank you!

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

I like that Dean give Sam the answers to all of his questions, that he’s willing to talk even though he isn’t normally so forthcoming with information of this kind of emotional nature.

Thank you. I was debating that fact myself because, as you said, Dean usually withholds his emotions. But, I just felt like he would want to share this would Sam because he would want Sam to, perhaps, feel a bit of that happiness Dean had for so briefly there. Of course, that's just my opinion in it all. :)

Thank you for the lovely feedback.

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. :)

*offers tissue*

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

It was an amazing episode. I hope you enjoy it! :)

Thank you very much!

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

lol. No bowing is necessary. I do, however, accept all cash donations. ;)

Thank you very much, sweetie. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you thought it worked. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Oh, I definitely think that Sam was one of Dean's main reasons for coming back. Really, who else would watch out for Sam if Dean's not going to be there? (Of course, that's just my opinion on the whole situation. :) )

Thank you very much! :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

*nods* Seeing the episode again is always a good remedy. With this episode, you can't see it enough. I keep on noticing something new with every rewatch.

Thank you very much, hun. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Don't you love it when there are always an overabundance of great fics following an episode? One of the best signs that an episode was awesome.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

*is happy with you* Thank you! Hee. Of course you already knew that. You knew that before anyone else knew it. ;)

[legoline.livejournal.com]

*donates cash* :-)

Also, I'm way too exhausted to reply to your email today but you totally made my day with it :-) *hug*

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Woo-hoo cash! *rolls around in bills*

I was super tired when I wrote that last night. Otherwise, it would have had much more flailing and what not in it, but the brain was already starting to shut down by the time I got that finished. I'm glad it made you happy, though, and not, "Whoa! Crazy girl!" ;) *hugs back*

[legoline.livejournal.com]

Ithink I actually squeed a little, or a lot even. And I met Verena today and squeed more and said "Pixel likes my fic!", hee :-p If I wasn't so tired and braindead right now (am about to hop into bed) I'd mail you back but alas, that'll have to wait til tomorrow :-)

*showers you in bills*

[lady-macbeth-13.livejournal.com]

I just watched it! It made me cry!

[inane-nana.livejournal.com]

Very lovely tag. Thank you for understanding the guys so well and putting those thoughts and emotions into words. Wow.

[pixel-0.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Everybody had something to say after this episode aired, and I couldn't resist adding to the pile. I'm glad you liked it! :)